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Jun. 1st, 2005
More "Eeyoreing
Jun. 1st, 2005 07:32 pmJust when I think things arse starting to improve, they get worse.
My health continues to decline. I don't know what it is, the docs don't know what it is so far. It may be allergy-related, but no real clue.
I actually got a bit more sleep than usual, but feel like I got less; like i slept more, but it was worse quality. I was more tired, had more trouble focussing and concentrating, and was barely able to do the minimum necessary to get by. I had a lot of cleaning planned, since I was starting to improve; but that's out now. I've gotten a little dohne, but nowhere near as much as I need to do, let alone what I want to do.
It's a major effort just to stay on the computer. Ugh. My head hurts all the time and i always feel like i've run a marathon or i'm coming down off a huge hit of speed. Winded, shaky (really shaky, sometimes I can hardly stand), and drained. My mind is dull and... shit, i can't even think of the word anymore. I have a hard time thinking at all. Actually, I thought earlier that it felt like coming down off of an adrenaline rush, a post-fight-or-flight-reaction.
I can't find the time t9o see a doctor again, and i'm not really convinced, at this point, that it will do any good.
I hate being so negative, and really wish I had something positive to right about; but there isn't a whole lot positive going on my life right now. I have several people who have told me they wanted to hang out and do stuff, but I haven't heard squat from most of them since; and the few I have heard from, have seriously incompatible schedules. One doesn't even bother returning email.
On top of that, I have a birthday in less than two months; and this one is so far shaping up to be worse than the last, which was pretty dismal. I have one friend who has spoken casually about doing something special; but the way things are going for me, i'm not getting my hopes up, particularly since she's got some major problems of her own to deal with.
Pretty much feeling old, ugly, and useless at this point.
My health continues to decline. I don't know what it is, the docs don't know what it is so far. It may be allergy-related, but no real clue.
I actually got a bit more sleep than usual, but feel like I got less; like i slept more, but it was worse quality. I was more tired, had more trouble focussing and concentrating, and was barely able to do the minimum necessary to get by. I had a lot of cleaning planned, since I was starting to improve; but that's out now. I've gotten a little dohne, but nowhere near as much as I need to do, let alone what I want to do.
It's a major effort just to stay on the computer. Ugh. My head hurts all the time and i always feel like i've run a marathon or i'm coming down off a huge hit of speed. Winded, shaky (really shaky, sometimes I can hardly stand), and drained. My mind is dull and... shit, i can't even think of the word anymore. I have a hard time thinking at all. Actually, I thought earlier that it felt like coming down off of an adrenaline rush, a post-fight-or-flight-reaction.
I can't find the time t9o see a doctor again, and i'm not really convinced, at this point, that it will do any good.
I hate being so negative, and really wish I had something positive to right about; but there isn't a whole lot positive going on my life right now. I have several people who have told me they wanted to hang out and do stuff, but I haven't heard squat from most of them since; and the few I have heard from, have seriously incompatible schedules. One doesn't even bother returning email.
On top of that, I have a birthday in less than two months; and this one is so far shaping up to be worse than the last, which was pretty dismal. I have one friend who has spoken casually about doing something special; but the way things are going for me, i'm not getting my hopes up, particularly since she's got some major problems of her own to deal with.
Pretty much feeling old, ugly, and useless at this point.
