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Gah. It's just impossible to get the stuff I need to maintain my sanity right now. Or rather, to get all of it. Right now there are essentially three drugs that are making me function right now. Modafinil (aka Provigil) for my sleep disorder (keeps me awake). It's effective, and doesn't fuck me up like caffiene or Ritalin or Adderol (though it's a little hard on my stomach, but I have a particularly touchy stomach); but is extremely expensive and not covered by my insurance. Codiene, while not absolutely necessary, is very good for dealing with my migraines. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to get in the US, and I don't go to Canada often enough. Though it's fairly cheap when I do go, so I can stock up.
The third is Cannabis, which is more of a general purpose thing, and works for both my migraines and sleep disorder (helps me sleep); as well as my mental illness, kind of short-circuiting whatever it is in my brain that's fucked up and causing the psychotic episodes, ending them before they get full-blown. Unfortunately, being illegal due to some really fucked-up historical bullshit, is very difficult and far more expensive to obtain than it should be. I used to find it much easier; but that was when I spent a large chunk of time hanging out with "drug people", aka, recreational drug users. But I am not into that sort of recreational use, and really dislike being around people like that. Now that I no longer hang out with them; I cannot find the stuff any more. I really don't want to get involved with drug people again, but am not sure how the hell to find the stuff without doing so. It's a truly annoying problem.
The third is Cannabis, which is more of a general purpose thing, and works for both my migraines and sleep disorder (helps me sleep); as well as my mental illness, kind of short-circuiting whatever it is in my brain that's fucked up and causing the psychotic episodes, ending them before they get full-blown. Unfortunately, being illegal due to some really fucked-up historical bullshit, is very difficult and far more expensive to obtain than it should be. I used to find it much easier; but that was when I spent a large chunk of time hanging out with "drug people", aka, recreational drug users. But I am not into that sort of recreational use, and really dislike being around people like that. Now that I no longer hang out with them; I cannot find the stuff any more. I really don't want to get involved with drug people again, but am not sure how the hell to find the stuff without doing so. It's a truly annoying problem.
